We all have stories we tell ourselves, based on our education, life experiences, and those we surround ourselves with. Sometimes those stories are beneficial, other times they do more harm than good.
The stories we tell ourselves, whether they are positive or negative, influence the choices we make. We live out the labels they create. If we allow them to, those stories define how we see ourselves. That self-image will set the ceiling for our potential, so it's important that we take responsibility for not just the choices we make, but how we think about ourselves and our circumstances.
Our natural instinct is to focus on what happened to us and allow our circumstances to have the final say about our future. It's easy to find someone or something to blame and tell ourselves:
“Nobody gives me the opportunities I need to succeed”,
“I can't help it... it's not my fault”,
“These things always happen to me”.
That's the easy way... but what if we didn't?
What if, instead of thinking of ourselves as the victim, we adopted a growth mindset. What if, instead of focusing on blame and allowing our past to define us, we focused on responsibility and using our past to develop ourselves. What if we asked:
“What can I learn from this... how can I grow?”
“How do I take responsibility for this and fix it?”
“What's my next right step?”
John Maxwell says "Every time you make a mistake, don't bring up everything that's wrong with yourself; tell yourself that you're paying the price for growth and that you will learn to do better next time."
In Maxwell's framework, the moment you stop asking, "Who is at fault?" and start asking, "How can I grow?", you've begun the journey from victim to growth mindset. It's not about ignoring the past and pretending it didn't happen. It's about acknowledging what happened, accepting the consequences and making the best of them.
Now it's your turn.
What is one story you're telling yourself that's less than helpful?
What's one circumstance you need to re-frame your mindset about?
What is ONE SMALL THING you're going to do THIS WEEK to change that mindset?
Ready to go deeper? I created a free workbook, The Next Right Step, that walks you through 10 practical steps to move from a victim mindset to a growth mindset, with space to reflect and write along the way. [Download your free copy here.]
And if you'd like someone to walk alongside you, I'd love to connect. Book a free 30-minute coaching session.
